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If I had arrived at the Batu Caves a couple of months earlier, I would have competed with 1.5 million people celebrating at the Thaipusam festival. I may have got my picture on the cover of National Geographic magazine as the only white girl in the vicinity. Watching devotees being pierced across their back and allowing their bodies to hang from a chariot, while others willed no blood to drop from the multiple hooks put through their cheeks, might have spooked me a little, but travel is about education right? Right. And National Geographic does a fine job of covering it. I only competed for personal space with fifty other tourists and some annoying monkeys that kept blocking my path. I was there to see the caves, the Lord Murugan Statue and gawk at photos of the festival held earlier in the year.

As I sat on the local bus from the center of Kuala Lumpur, I was a little concerned I might not register where to get off. I tried to calculate how long 13 kilometers through loopy one way roads might take, but I lost track when we passed the same mosque three times. Or was that 3 mosques just once? Luckily, the driver knew that the only blond on board was obviously there to be a tourist at the Batu Caves, and gave me a nod and a wink when my time had come. As the bus drove off with me standing on the dirt sidewalk, I had no doubts which direction to go. The top half of the golden Murugan statue towered above all of the other buildings.

I began climbing the 272 steps at a slow steady pace, smiling at the groups of people catching their breath against the railings. Looking only at my sides to note the brightly painted Hindu statues, I nearly fell backwards when a monkey took a giant leap over my shoulder. He was running away from another monkey that held prized food scraps, and continued baring his teeth to show who was boss. My heart was racing as I thought of bites and rabies and breaking a leg falling down the never ending stairwell. I let the cheeky little macaques have their moment and continued walking up the steps, looking forward every step of the way.

Past the gift shops with aromatic pots of chai tea enticing visitors, the shape of the deep cavern became clear. I stopped to take in the sheer height of the 100 meter space in the ‘Cathedral’. The limestone walls were said to have formed up to 400 million years ago. 400 hundred MILLIONyears ago. Did you get that? I don’t think anybody can really get that.

Drips of moisture fell on my head as I walked across the cave to study the ornate shrines. A large opening in the smaller cave opposite acted as a natural skylight casting a luminescence to the ferns that grew out of the walls. For some reason a lone rooster walked the grounds and crowed in protest of me getting closer. I tried to imagine being within the masses of people carrying offerings for Lord Maruga. Some devotees choose to carry clay pots of milk on their shoulders, while others opt for the self mutilation. While I tried to comprehend the dedication and history of the caves by sitting on the sidelines and writing notes in my diary, the humidity eventually got the better of me and I was gasping for fresh air.

Standing at the top of the 272 stairs and looking down, I got a better grasp of the size of the statue (his head was nearly level with mine). At 43 metres, he is the tallest statue in Malaysia and the second tallest statue of a Hindu deity-in the world. One of the shopkeepers (also my savior as he handed me a cold bottle of water!) told me that Lord Maruga was considered to be the God of good fortune. Though I haven’t found a lot of support for that story, I’ll stick with it as I felt pretty fortunate to have experienced the visit.

I thought my explorations were over and I was bracing myself to pass the monkeys on the stairs again, when I saw another cave entrance. ‘The Dark Cave’ was a paid attraction that had no Hindu temples or enormous statues. A sign invited me to see the rarest spider-in the world, and walk through the most researched tropical cave-in the world.Perhaps like every other tourist, the worldly claims sold me and I handed over my cash.

There were several caverns located within this section of the Batu Caves. Unfortunately, one was off limits due to humidity levels being too high and another was blocked off as an exclusive science research area. I quickly figured the tour would be exactly like the religious side, but with no light.

“So will we see anything here?” asked the lone German tourist. The guide laughed and handed us each a flashlight.

“You’ll see absolutely nothing without this, and I assure you, you’ll see a lot!” Within 5 minutes of the guided walk across slippery stone, I think every one of us that secretly mocked the tour, took it all back. The sounds were incredible as 250 000 fruit bats clung to the ceiling. I tried walking with my hands covering my head (fear of dropping bat guano had me a little grossed out!) but found it difficult to keep my flashlight focussed on the ground in front of me. Every time our guide stopped and explained more features within the walls and at our feet, I gasped at the new information. We stood on a platform and shone our lights over the edge.

It was wriggling. The entire floor was moving in small waves of worms and maggots as they fed on a swimming pool size pit of bat guano. Cockroaches scuttled around the edges and yes, they were the biggest cockroaches I have ever seen. All of a sudden I really regretted my choice of open footwear. My toes curled in and I stamped my feet as an automatic reaction to ward off any critters from climbing on board my flip-flops. OMG, yes, it was gross. It was so gross that I was grinning and squealing in the dark.

We walked along the path in a tightly formed huddle, following the lead beam of light that our guide bounced around. He pointed out webs and tiny holes in the dry ground.

That’s where the trap-door spider lives. You see? He builds a trap door in the dirt. Want to see if anyone’s home?

He must have given so many tours that he knew exactly when we would all protest, and still really want him to open the door. Luckily, it was a small door and a small spider. That wasn’t home.

The pathway had hills and corners through the stalactites and stalagmites that grew out of the floor and ceiling. Still pools of water with limestone cave pearls looked like the ocean had swept by and the tide remained out. The wall up to the ceiling looked like cans of cream coloured paint had been thrown from a distance. Thick droplets rolled down with blended streams of blues and greens and collected at the base like lava at the bottom of a volcano. I saw no other creatures that made me squirm, until our guide stopped me in my tracks.

The centipede didn’t seem to mind being in the spotlight. I suppose he knew he was cornered by the big 2 legged people, though he could have run away at any point. As I had thought the cockroaches were the largest critter at ground level, I was soon corrected. The length and width of the arthropods body was similar to a marker pen, and with the extension of his 30 odd legs, he seemed more like a prehistoric beast. By following along his intricate yellow body, I was able to make out the fangs that he used to plunge into his dinner. Just after I took a photo of him, the spineless creature shot up the wall. Part of me was glad to see him go, but I remained on high alert to make sure none of his cousins ran over my toes.

We continued the walking tour up to the ‘Great Chamber’ where beams of light shot through a large crack in the distance. I imagined a tap-dancing dinosaur standing in the spotlight. Ok, so maybe my imagination got the better of me, but having spent some time in the darkness my thoughts kept circling cave women making fire or the first explorers that stepped foot inside.

Considering the temple side and the natural side, the caves cover a 2km. distance. There are wind tunnels, ancient formations, unfamiliar animals and and and-what an experience! My plan for the next visit will definitely include some of the rock climbing routes, the festival and most importanly-no flip flops.