Today is one of those days that I’ve sat and hhmmmmmmm’d….wondering why THAT happened. THAT happens to everybody, but why me? I’m a kind attractive person, so why are there still people on this earth that seem to get off on saying cruel things?

Ok ok – here’s the background. I went on a date. It may not be earth shattering news to everybody, but for those that know me, it’s a step outside of my comfort zone. Yeah I know, put me in a dingy shack with drug dealers in the middle of Africa and I can deal with it, but put me on a date? I blubber. I mean I blabber. I fidget. I am out of the zone. And I’m really not talking Britney Spears here. I just don’t like the pretense that automatically comes when dating. ie: does he think he’s ‘gonna sleep with me tonight? Should I eat a steak that I crave or a salad that makes me look like I think about what I eat? Is he going to buy or do I need to enforce friendly halfsy halfsy?

I can’t stand it. I’d rather be on my bike. I’d rather be drinking coffee and writing in my diary. I’d rather meet somebody in an environment that I’m already comfortable with. Travelling. Hiking. I’ve tried striking up a conversation with a good looking dude on a bike, but he passed me before I got his phone number. So perhaps meeting a guy in a coffee shop is a good starting point-or so I thought.

Enter ‘Chris’. We were in a coffee shop both tapping away on our laptops. His screensaver was a photo of him deep in the jungle, mine of me jumping through sand dunes. He works within the travel industry. He was writing a travel article. I smiled, he smiled and we exchanged numbers for dinner the following week. I went home that night thinking, “this is how it’s supposed to go”.

The meal was fabulous. Conversation flowed through adventures and personal history. Silences were not akward and I was confident and energized enough to suggest another meetup (let’s even avoid the ‘date’ word!). And then it happened.

“Nooooo, I don’t think so Fiona,” said Chris very matter of factly.

Thud. That would be my jaw dropping. I didn’t see that one coming. Everything was so smooth sailing wasn’t it?

“You’re a lovely person Fiona, but I think you should go to therapy before you seriously step into the dating world”.

Holy mother of mothers. Are you serious? My fingers started to fidget, my emotions started to race and I just stood there on the sidewalk looking at him dumfounded. Chris proceeded to tell me why he thought I should break down my walls in counselling. I took it for half a minute and then walked away. Who the hell is he to tell me that after 2 hours?!

Of course, I do agree that people should talk through their issues into understanding, if it’s with a therapist than so be it. But I don’t agree with it being a first date topic.
Advice to men on the dating scene? DO NOT repeat the above.

I really hate dating. I think I’ll be single for awhile more.